I’m being a promoter of the impending screening at practical levels that I won’t even discuss with my readers.  No doubt many of you have been encouraged to promote the Documentary, from other sources including DWDV and Exit, so that one of the most important mediums of communication will not be lost because people didn’t know of it.  

I think I am living up to my reputation for being tenacious.    Pigheaded, passionate and committed.  I could be known by worse titles.

In the Age Good Weekend dated October 14 there was an article about Wendy Whiteley,  who created a garden out of public rubble following the death of her husband Brett, 53,  in 1992  to drugs and her daughter, Arkie, 35 to cancer, in 2001.   I related so much of what followed I began to understand my own passion for things.   Being a passionate person can be an advantage or a curse, it is what you do with your individual passion that counts.

Wendy observes that “you can go two ways with grief”, I could have given up and slid into an abyss of depression, or become suicidal…..I just felt an overwhelming desire to do something positive…doing something creative, right here, would be the most freeing thing I could do”.  

Hers was “the creation of the garden situated on public land in Sydney with a beautiful view of the Harbor.”  Mine was my activism….first I had a genuine interest in my local Council I don’t like games that people play!  Just saying and doing things for a reaction I feel, is both futile and a waste of time.   So much talent wasted on point scoring.

Whatever I undertake, whether successful or not, is always with a genuine intention to succeed with meaningful dialogue and compromise.  I desperately try to avoid playing the man and just stick with the subject.  I failed at this with my Liberal Candidate for Oakleigh who did not even bother to enter into a discussion on my particular issues raised with both local government and VE questions.

I’ve come to understand that in my passion for introducing choice as an option for dying with dignity, unlike Wendy, no one will think “Christ, you’ve vindicated your whole life by making this (happen)”  It’s a great act of love.”.  My legacy will not be a beautiful tranquil garden, but I had hoped to assist with laying the foundation stones for a beautiful, tranquil option for dying.

I somehow equated my own situation, on a much lesser scale,  with Anna Schwartz comments of Wendy “But Wendy’s an agent of change: it’s her instinct to transform and reconfigure everything around her in a way that endows it with beauty and meaning.”   With the same passion I put into changing work place practices to improve and streamline a process (I was always one for “separation of duties” to avoid fraud) I believed that I could somehow change the thought processes of politicians. 

Separation of Church and State is a fundamental necessity if the Right to Die Advocacy is to be given any chance to work at all.

Dr Philip Nitschke is apt to say “one doesn’t need a doctor to die, dying comes naturally”.  Do we really need Politicians to give us permission to die by changing the Law governing euthanasia?   No -  we don’t but it would enable many a death,  to be that garden of beauty and tranquility free of the ugliness of weeds linked to illegality.   Daily I receive international correspondence where 70 and 80 years old are charged with murder for assisting a loved one to die.  Usually suspended sentences follow,  but the trauma of trial just compounds the distress of the need to “murder” without the option of a tranquil death due to medical assistance.  

That man made laws link an act of love to the brutality of the word “murder” is offensive.

In the same magazine was another article on activism, in the profile of Irene Khan who is the Secretary General of Amnesty International, herself a Muslim who speaks with words that must encourage people not to brand all Muslims as “Terrorists” out of hand.   I loved the way the interpretation of Human Rights ideals are upheld.

Ms Khan, like myself, again to a much lesser degree,  makes the analysis of what being an Advocate is when she says “When you are an advocate you cannot be totally impartial.  And we are an advocacy organisation: we stand for some issues and we stand for some people.”

I stand for your choice in dying.   I stand for my own choice in dying.   I believe that whatever you want for yourself should be your right.   If you want a natural death without medical intervention that may be your choice.  My choice would be to have access to a drug which would hasten my death at end of life stages.  I understand some fear.  that without politicians and doctors and psychiatrists being involved, that we would make a hasty choice and thereby rob those with vested interests in the continuance of our existence.

In addition to this website I had arranged with Everlasting Magic Design, my web builder to organise another site directly related to the impending documentary http://www.donotresuscitatedocumentary.com which is dedicated to the filmmaker’s portrayal of significant aspects of both his subjects and his own thoughts.    I mailed out 100 printed copies mainly to people who do not have a computer but may have a television,  and then I emailed the link to a number of people including the filmmaker Davor Dirlic as a matter of courtesy.I believe his generous response fails to understand the message I wanted to convey in separating the individual sites.   The reason is simple, -  to highlight the importance of a person of his resources to address such a contentious subject.  The matter of dying and the individual’s ability to address its methods, by direct action, by legal medical assistance, or surviving with intolerable pain. 

The man with the camera, the picture that tells a thousand words.  

I never saw myself as “brave”,  and I can’t speak for Steve or Judy.  (Surviving a catholic childhood was bravery, cancer was not optional).

Bravery requires choice – and we individual characters did not have that option.  We had to endure regardless,  our individual dramas – The filmmaker had choice!.   He chose us!

I wanted the filmmaker’s role and observations to be separated from this site which is generated by an emotional, passionate believer in Pro Choice for the individual.    The filmmaker without necessarily sharing my views allowed me to express myself.   Until yesterday it had not occurred to me to “investigate” the credentials of this particular film maker for myself.   I met him personally and relied only on my gut instinct that he would treat my story with respect.   

I have not seen the documentary but I feel comfortable with whatever is revealed.  

Now I have discovered, Mr Davor Dirlic has some 130 (plus) entries on the internet and I am amazed that it never occurred to me to look past the man standing in front of me and the Passport to Parenthood screened in 2004.   I felt a little foolish in assuming that somehow, I’d felt he was there, just for Do Not Resuscitate.   He had the capacity to make one feel unique.  I felt a sense of ownership about him, which in hindsight was so stupid of me.   He never spoke of his own achievements.  The professional filmmaker made me feel totally natural and as I was moved to say to him a couple of times, “I am no actress – what you see is what you’re getting”.   I am no good at pretending what I don’t feel.   My family felt sorry for him coping with my directness.

I have little talent for anything but expressing opinions and yes I am very committed to Pro Choice so follow through my very strong opinions with decisive action.  I expect that of myself!….If in talking about me, they also remember my ambitious activism in promoting legislative change for the Medical Treatment Act 1988 then the message not the individual will have triumphed.  It is always about the message being heard across as many mediums as possible. I could never have envisage myself in front of a television screen but the skill of the craftsman in the filmmaker just made it so natural for me to continue being me, blunt and forthright and yes, strident!

Suffice to say that ultimately the purpose of the link was to put a frame around the importance of the person who comes up with the concept, goes looking for avenues of information, respects differing points of views, remains patient in the face of stupidity, ignorance or just plain inability to understand the concept.  Travels long distances, works long hours, spends times reassuring others that he means no harm to his subjects.  Faces opposition from both his subjects and their families yet manages to hold it all together with patience and tact and an intelligence that eventually achieves what he wants of them.   He doesn’t even have to like us as individuals but we won’t know because he is so professional in his attitudes that personal views do not necessarily surface.

I am very grateful that a man who loves music, art, cats, Japanese food, filmmaking, directing and writing, in no particular order, chose to make a documentary with the assistance of SBS and others, which will enable further discussion and debate about the virtues of Pro Choice.   I am not paying Mr Dirlic compliments to flatter him – I don’t need to – the documentary is already achieved but I am acknowledging my debt of gratitude with a public acknowledgement of the service he rendered on behalf of the vulnerable.

Thank you, Davor Dirlic, for the opportunities you provided that allowed the voices of Steve, Mary and Judy to be heard.

Recently I was commiserating with a female who could not convince her friend to visit a doctor, middle aged and spotting blood.  She’d talked and argued for months but at my suggestion sent her the photo of my abdomen after surgery.   Within 24 hours the woman had made an appointment with a specialist.  Six months of talk, but only one picture.   The one I displayed on the steps of Parliament House and Flinders Street Station – ugly, yes very!, but effective to convey a message that explains much just by its impact.

Imagine the honour of having such a filmmaker as Davor Dirlic convey a whole story about three people’s “pictures”! 

—————————

Fortunately my oncologist gave me a clean bill of health yesterday so I will continue to be like a flea between the shoulder blades of our State Politicians for a while longer.   Talking of which, I do not like Mr Baillieu chances to Govern.   Being the President of the Liberal Party during the Jeff Kennett’s reign is not only a nail in the coffin – it would be covered in cement for surety.  Already the media are reporting technical difficulties with this information being made public because the video clip is “unauthorised”.?  But is it the truth?   Isn’t truth, ultimately what counts.  Was the Australian Wheat Board activities “authorized”?

I was feeling depressed this morning, my chilblains from standing on Parliament steps in too cold weather, just itched. It took five attempts to secure me McGloin’s Chilblain Ointment which provides temporary relief.   A friend suggested the split stem of the pig face flower, one solution which I haven’t tried yet.  Open toed shoes seem to work but must come off for the gym.  Baths and bed aggravate!   Warmth!  I remember not appreciating the inconvenience of a woman’s chilblains on her hands and yet she still played golf (not with me of course).  I’ve actually broken skin scratching between and under the toes but they’re settled down now.  Now I wonder how she could concentrate on a little white ball with such an infuriating annoyance bugging her!  Made of much sterner stuff on reflection!. Arthritis in my left wrist is a nagging ache which encourages me to think of acupuncture as a possibility.  If my partner can be convinced of its merits – I surely can!   It doesn’t help at all that I am a left handed person who believes the right one is for decoration.   

And then there is the neck with its crick…..so that turning one’s head requires the entire body to move to accommodate the view over the right shoulder. Such minor inconveniences that make one realise how much more difficult it is for those who suffer “the big stuff!” such as described in yesterday’s entry.

Hence my stances at various locations have abruptly stopped for quite some weeks.   In their place I am promoting the documentary by more sedentary means, financially a little costly but less communication out there “in the world”.  A world where ordinarily healthy people walk about their daily business peering at me – not always sure of what to do….some approach and some move away, face downwards -  finding “a full on” demonstrator, highlighting yourchoiceindying.com a little confronting.   I remember the gentle pats on the arm that tells me “they understand my POV”.   Now all we need is for the State Victorian Politicians to understand.

http://www.vec.vic.gov.au/ will provide full details next week of all candidates for individual seats. Currently the Victorian Electoral Commission is being inundated with telephone calls and long holds are being experienced.   I will wait.

A 78 yo contributor has kindly sent me a copy of his question asked of each candidate seeking to represent him in the upcoming State Election.  (He didn’t mind at all if I used his name and address but for his sake I will decline doing so).     I believe it is an excellent example of what to ask of your Member for Victoria, both the Upper and Lower Houses. 

Dear Candidate,

Would you please advise me of your attitude towards voluntary euthanasia and legalised medical assistance to the dying?

If elected, would you be prepared to support a bill proposing a law legalising such assistance?

If no such bill were to come before Parliament, would you be prepared to submit a private member’s bill during the first term of the next State Government?

Euthanasia:  painless death, the putting of a person to death painlessly, esp a person suffering from an incurable and painful disease.  Source: Macquarie Dictionary

The Age is currently seeking opinions, on what challenges Victorians and ask that you submit your ideas to an Age online forum at: http://blogs.theage.com.au/politics.   I’ve been advised by a political party HO that the Age has sent them a Questionnaire which it seems to me,  included questions specifically targeting Pro Choice position statement.  The answers will be known by The Age before the questions are asked, or suggestions made by the constituents?

The Age had an supplement The State of Victoria, The challenges facing the next government and ideas to tackle them, dated October/November 2006 which came with yesterday’s delivered paper but I am not sure whether Herald Sun Readers would have a similar resource of information offered. 

People are hating the supplement, because not everything has been addressed by Government but sometimes we just have to start doing things for ourselves.    Perhaps we’ll be expecting the government to breathe for us soon – the more we get given, the more we want to be provided with.   When will we as individuals live with less, so others can be given more?   And before we race out and vote Liberal because we hate Labor – lets just imagine what a Government of Mr Howard’s integrity can do with the State of Victoria having the Heavies from Canberra running the State, by default.  

By all means vote for who you want to, but may I suggest you think carefully about the outcome of your choice in living.   Remember core and non core promises and when it all hits the fan “I can’t remember” and don’t worry about the “Sorry”.   Liberals don’t know how to say it, or they would have said it a long time ago.  To the Muslims, The Parents of the “Children overboard”, The Iraqi people because they didn’t have weapons of mass destruction (My instincts tell me they’re in Israel and America if anyone wants a clue) and Indigenous communities and lets not forget David Hicks, now five years in detention without trial.  A Liberal State with those values?

The apple never falls far from the tree.  

I am publishing an email I received this morning.   It tells the reality of a day in the life of a person who wants the security of knowing that a peaceful pill would be made available for her whilst awaiting the snail mail introduction for legislative change:

“I notice that there’s another “Overhaul” series that’s started. (you know, where they take overweight Aussies and teach them to eat well and exercise)

I just wish I could give a politician an “overhaul” so he could feel a little bit about what I feel, or others who are in unacceptable personal health (wrong wording but you know what I mean) …….I’d ………

1.     have them feeling really tired by letting them only sleep about 3-4 hours a night …..

2.     have them experience pain from having some kind of “tens machine”strapped all over their body on full blast ….. so their whole body would be tingling and burning ………

3.     have their bodies experience regular additional horrific burning pain over their body by strapping those heating wheat packs on their body.

4.    Of course the fact that they’re heavy on the body too is good since this emphasises the fatigue and heaviness in moving around….. in lifting arms so that you can barely even type on a computer

5.     give them a magic “pill” which has a side effect of headaches …….

6.     give them strong doses of laxatives if required ……. just so that they know what some people have to go through (eg. cancer patients etc)

7.     have them drink a lot of water but give them tablets so then they have to go empty their bladder every 1/2 hour – 1 hour …….

8.     get them to do mentally challenging things despite their horrendous fatigue and sleepiness ….. and get them to try to remember things like what they did yesterday…….

If only a newspaper would publish a letter on this subject I’d go and write it …. but they won’t so I won’t. Pity.”

The message of desperation reminded me of a discussion I’d had with a friend. previously.   A third party had asked for details of my website as she had a grievously ill friend.  I explained to my very long term friend that my website did not contain a recipe for alleviating pain, but I duly sent off the link address without any personal comment to the unknown recipient.

The other day I asked “how the sick lady was getting on” to be advised that she’d since died.   That was,  after weeks and weeks of begging the doctor for permanent relief that he had “listened with compassion” and allowed the lawful definition of the Medical Treatment Act 1988 to kick in.

Grateful to that doctor “YES” but it shouldn’t have to be like that.   Dying a slow horrendous death and begging with every feeble bone in one’s body should not be “How it ends”.   Nancy Crick understood this.  We should be able to die with dignity surrounded by friends and family while still conscious enough to enjoy the moment that takes us away from the stress that most conscious people experience with the onslaught of the final stages of severe illness.    Palliative care may put one into a state of unconsciousness that means, in effect, a comma, so why delay the inevitable for political correctness.

A single woman, very ill for a long time and without one family member in Australia had to beg, not for life, but for death.  Thank god she was heeded.  My friend was told “there was no need for legislative change as doctors in reality do assist their patients to die” and I had to say “No – perhaps in some cases 40% may, which meant 60% didn’t!…would you want to be in the 60% bracket of doctor care?”.   People assume incorrectly that a doctor will not leave a patient “to suffer” but sometimes, it is outside the doctor’s capacity without inducing doses of medication which result in death.

————————

I am reminded of SBS Story October 19, which I watched on video yesterday.  Mohammad Hossain’s Intensive Care by Filmmaker Geoff Burton.   Mohammad basically remained comatose throughout his very long stay in hospital, which was some 12 weeks before he eventually died.

I cannot agree with the critic’s view in the Green Guide, that the story was perhaps exploitative!.  

The wife’s dilemma was real.  Nahida’s predicament was palpable.   It was her reality to be in a strange country, with different customs, with a dying husband and 6 months pregnant.    The solitary figure told its own story.   Traveling, living & eating alone, always alone except for her brother in law’s instruction “to pray”.   Did her prayers support her, in her solitary aloneness? I don’t think so. 

The ICU treated the man as they needed to,  in order to help him.  Not become personally involved -  so they could do their work.   The body is a machine, the carers, its mechanics!.   At some time, they say ” this motor will not respond to repairs and with limited time, staffing, and resources they move away from that engine which is unable to be repaired further, to ones that can.  This is the reality of an Intensive Care Unit.

What annoyed me about the Nahida’s predicament was that she had to ask for a chair, that her brother in law told her to say a prayer a thousand times to Allah (why couldn’t he pray 1000 times, he didn’t appear to be sick with worry or pregnant!!!)   and that the Federal Government refused her brother’s visa application.   Someone familiar with her to help her survive the drama of a dying husband, a new baby and just surviving!.   A woman from a culture that relies on family beyond that which the majority of Australians could understand.    And as a woman from Bangladesh, with no training to be autonomous – shy and so very desperate – lonely and forsaken in a strange country by circumstances they could never have imagined when they embarked on their studies in Australia.  

I heard Prue Goward last night on 774 being interviewed as a Hopeful Liberal Candidate for Goulburn and among the things she said was that for three months after “giving birth” mother and baby should be able to just sit and look at each other, bonding……Nahida had no such luxury as she attended her dying husband’s bedside everyday for two months plus, except for her own confinement time.  Ms Goward also spoke of women being allowed to dress in the burqu even if seen as confronting by others, and suggested that even modern dress codes by Australia women could be seen as exploitive.   “Women generally are exploited by the expectations placed on them” and that was surely the case with Nahida’s predicament. 

The broader community need to know that ICU is not a television melodrama vehicle for entertainment.   That in fact, what goes on there affects people in a very pertinent way.    Mohammad, I feel could have been permitted to die much sooner than he did.  He had tuberculous meningitis, a life threatening illness rarely seen in Australia, but known of in India.   The last scene where he is introduced to his baby daughter and his eyes are dead without expression……Mohammad was dead whilst still breathing.

What does it take for Parliamentarians to understand the necessity to relieve both the “victim” and his family of such intolerable stress?   Legalising voluntary euthanasia would eliminate so much suffering.  Multiply that story in Liverpool’s ICU to around Australia and that is “The Case for the Defence, Your Honor”.

I felt no sense of intrusion – putting one’s head in the sand and not bringing such stories to the general public means they get buried under the definition of “suicide due to depression” because everyone “talked”, but no one actually did anything practical to help.

To those who’ve puzzled over the Mary they thought they knew to the one portrayed in the Documentary Media Release, yes it is true as inferred.   Many are looking forward to the program to learn what I’ve rarely spoken of, even within the family circle.  The difference between a documentary and a “story” film, is its truth.   The camera is right there to catch every joy, every fear and every reality.  There are no scripts because you’re living the moment and the incident.    I am exposed at every level.  

The Director knew his craft. 

Do Not Resuscitate reflects the values of three entirely differing stages of illness from terminal, chronic and remission.   Steve in the final stages of life found living intolerable and took the necessary action to release himself.  Judy, an unknown personality to me, yet seemingly brave in the face of Multiple Sclerosis without a chance of a cure.   That is, a cure to the extent that gives her back a purposeful meaning for living.    Mary, (that’s me) in remission from cancer chooses to highlight, agitate and aggravate regarding the shortfalls of the Medical Treatment Act 1988 which does not include the legality of “Respecting Patient Choices”.  

My choosing a quick death reflects the impatience and tenaciousness, the strident and energetic personality that I am.   I cannot see purpose in continuing a futile activity.   I have neither the energy nor resources to take on the world – just the Victorian State Government.    After the next election with some new Parliamentary Members representing my views, even with Mr Brack’s conservatism, I am hopeful (and even a little optimistic) that 70% plus voters will be heard.   

Steve Guest, the major character in the Documentary, Do Not Resuscitate .   Steve’s too short story, shows in graphic detail why numerous members of Australia’s community believe choice and dignity in dying should become a reality.  The Exit’s concept of a peaceful pill would be the most appropriate means of achieving this, however Dying with Dignity Victoria takes the more cautious approach with legislative change to the Medical Treatment Act of 1988 to have an individual’s Advance Directive made a lawfully binding document, regardless of family or health care workers personal views.   

I work to support both organisations and consider myself to be one of the more impatient of lobbyists, but do accept that for me, my Humanistic roots will pervade my decision making.   Many who promote pro choice have spent years of their lives (20 for one friend) hoping for change.   Parliamentary procedures are too slow in coming for many and will not be in time to benefit me personally even though I remain in remission at this time.  Until we are governed in a secular manner, voluntary euthanasia is unlikely to become a solution readily available for those 70% plus who favor it.  

I happened to catch Mr Guest’s interview as it was unfolding and my heart ached physically for his pain which was palpable.   It is most unfortunate that the majority of those who find themselves at his degree of need for a hastened death have neither the means nor the energy to promote their own circumstances.   Steve was a professional journalist, able to choose his own path without the restrictions imposed by concerns of his immediate family.   Being solitary, does have its advantages in many ways.

Many people did support Steve Guest, in addition to Exit, including his family and most Victorians.  His last weeks will be portrayed in Documentary.  

I regret that Steve’s plight came to the awareness of the film maker almost too late to make the necessary impact.  It demonstrates that not all of us have the advantages of Lisette Nigot, who was able to end her life while “feeling well”.   I feel that Steve Guest will balance out somewhat the misunderstandings by the general public, of the people who need the peaceful pill.   Nancy Crick was skin and bone, but because she “did not have cancer” at her autopsy, her ongoing disabilities were treated almost as “irrelevant” and the public’s perception was again alienated.  

The ‘negative’ publicity surrounding both Lisette and Nancy will be negated by the horrific visual impact of Steve in this SBS Documentary.  

The article below is on the Exit Website (See Links) for further information:

Steve Guest died 26 July 2005 aged 58 years. Suffering from oesophageal cancer Steve came to national public attention when he made an impromptu phone call to 774 ABC radio Melbourne pleading to be allowed a “magic bullet”– “peaceful pill” so that he could end his suffering.

Steve Guest was divorced and is survived by his beloved, adult twin daughters. Steve was a strong and courageous member of the pro EOL-choice community of Australia.

Are you a Humanist -perhaps without even knowing it? If your response to most of these points is ‘yes’ then you won’t be far off the mark if you say, ‘I’m a Humanist.’  I know I am without a doubt.  I’ve repeated these points, together with comments under “My Say”.
• Natural events have natural causes
• The universe is neither for us nor against us
• Morality is a challenge to be worked out by human beings from experience
• Compassion and reason are valuable guides for deciding right from wrong
• We are responsible for ourselves and to each other in trying to do what’s right
• People are social beings and need each other to get through life
• Reason is a useful and powerful tool for solving problems
• The methods of science seem to work better than non-scientific methods
• It’s better to work on human problems, yours and others, instead of expecting gods or governments to solve them for you
• Your happiness is more likely to be created by you than just happening to you
• What happens to you is more to do with choice and chance, rather than being determined by stars, or by gods
• You’re not born sinful, just human, with possibilities and opportunities, not burdens of guilt
• It’s right to be open to learning from and hearing the views of others
• Individual freedom of choice is part of being human and worth defending
• We humans are part of nature and depend upon and have kinship with other life forms
• Human life is a ‘do-it-yourself project with nobody waiting around to rescue you.

If you’d like to know more about the Humanist Society of Victoria please contact (03) 9857 9717.   It is unfortunate for Pro Choice advocates that the Humanist’s  AGM in Melbourne,  is being held on the same night as the screening of part one of Do Not Resuscitate on SBS, November 23.  so the video machines will be working overtime for some of us.

Comprehensive details are now available on the main page of my website (it may take time to load up being a PDF file) click on the site where Do Not Resuscitate, SBS Documentary, screening in November, is to the right of the page.  I am indeed very honoured to have been given the opportunity to participate in telling my story (the good, the bad and the ugly) In hindsight I don’t know whether I would have bared my soul in such a public and personal manner but what you see with me, is what you get, and this is without having viewed a single shot of myself.    

I’ve never really been a person to do anything by half measures, and this has been a very trying reality for my family, who’ve had to endure my passions long after they’d wanted to.  I’m persistent.  

It will be very interesting to see how strangers view the characters portrayed.   Steve and Judy are “just” names to me and we’d never met each other.    I felt so “at one” with Steve Guest that even though he has since died, I felt I touched with him in his absolute desperation for relief.  I never met him but I was with him so much in spirit.  His voice on the radio just cut to the quick, painfully and distressingly honest describing the position he found himself in – a man able to verbalise his feeling so beautifully, probably due to his training as a Journalist and one time Advisor to a Politician,  -   Judy, without ever having met her,  makes me realise, so much of what I have. -    that I am the luckiest one of the three participants.   I am truly alive.

I am alive, with both the passion and the energy necessary, along with many others in the field fightin for change.  Like salmon swimming upstream to spawn – the battle is arduous and life threatening but inevitably success for pro choice, will be achieved.   With the baby boomers coming up behind our current ageing population, they’ll not share the sentiments that conservatism brings to the debating table.   They will triumph because more people are informed, educated and have sense of decision making that they take for granted in deciding their life’s goals.   Decisions about end of life choices will automatically be assumed as their right to die as they have lived.   Independent of interference from outside influences.     

Initially, I had not thought of myself as “being in front of a camera”.   I made no allowances, no makeup, no trendy clothes and most of all, I was aware of my “worker’s hands” stubby fingers without those beautiful nails so often portrayed in documentaries.   I am inclined to chew on my nails, having being told in a Health class as a child,  that it was not a good habit, I thought to give it a try and so one of my many vices was born.   I put my lack of “nervousness” down to the fact that I genuinely believed that the message far outweighed any “shyness” that someone of a more cultured upbringing may feel.  

Humility may be a wonderful trait in a personality to possess, one I do not have.       I will not be humbled – yet I was at another level, by the sheer love and care demonstrated to me by those who loved and cared for me during my illness and even more so after its grueling aftermath when my return to work failed so abysmally.  

I found the ultimate humiliation of learning of my potential “use by date” in my place of employment.   It was more devastating to my integrity as a human being than being diagnosed with cancer could have ever been.    I had ceased to have purpose and meaning at a most important aspect of my living.  Cancer was not preventable, Kindness, on the other hand, hurts no one -  compassion and understanding in the workplace could have been taken as “automatic”.  It was not.    Professor Richardson, my oncologist advised me that this is not an uncommon outcome for those suffering life threatening illnesses.  But I had to learn that in the hardest lesson of all.  Hence quality over quantity any day for me.  Dignity and purpose in life for my A Type Personality is absolutely essential for my peace of mind.

What I am is a fighter as distinct from a pacifist – I tend to take the argument up to the situation rather than wait for things to happen – I want legislative change for Victorians and indeed all Australians to permit their end of life choices to be given the same respect by legalising their decision making.  Such a skill,  that has enabled a whole new generation of human beings, based on their ability to be good at it, that is decision making with positive outcomes for the majority. 

I want 73% of the community being heard by the politicians, regardless of how unsavory the planning for dying appears to them.  

When I received the promotional material relating to the documentary as ordinary folk do, I looked to see how I was going to be portrayed.   I didn’t particularly like the word “strident” to describe me as a person and being one who feels writing is cathartic, the use of words is important to me.

Strident, according to the Macquarie Dictionary is defined as “Making or having a harsh sound, grating, creaking” and in another version the word “Loud” was included.   The Webster’s included “vibrating”   This is the one I read first so spent a little time examining my own conclusion that this is how the Documentary makers saw me as an individual…..it was depressing that I was being defined as “grating”.  Webster’s New International took it further to describe Strident as being marked by an insistent, discordant, harsh, shrill, or grating sound noise or sound…..that’s me in a word….can’t wait to see the actions behind the word….

But as a user of words, I possess more than one dictionary and looked again this morning at the The Penguin English Dictionary for their definition and felt much more relaxed as I felt it really did hit the nail on the head in describing me in a word.

Strident, according to the Penguin Dictionary is defined as “Loud and obtrusive, expressing opinions, demands, etc loudly or urgently”

I liked the Penguin’s definition so much better because it more correctly described how I see myself ” a Loud woman making Demands which I see as Urgent”…..

I’ve written a little “homily” for myself,  late the other night and left it on the Monthly Planner; much along the lines

It is Done – Move On

Let it Pass – Move On

It Can’t be Changed – Move On

But what matters, will Change: Stay!

I sincerely hope I don’t grate on too many nerves but I do hope I awaken a nerve in politicians.  

Yesterday, attending a funeral, of a beloved father within a close knit family,  I was so aware of those for whom I seek to represent somewhere in between the desperation of Steve and the fortitude of Judy.

The Sunday Age article of October 8 was highlighting the success of “The Pink Ribbon Campaign” which has successfully raised millions for Breast cancer, perhaps at the expense of fundraising for the broader expanse of cancers throughout the community.

Reminiscing about the massive gifts of money given to the Tsunami Appeal, I remembered, as an ex Business Manager I used the expression often “You can only spend the dollar once”. When it is locked in for a specific purpose by generous benefactors because of successful marketing, funds are automatically limited by availability – to all other purposes.

I do hope the Research being afforded by the generous donations to Breast Cancer flow through to other worthy research. Not just to cancers but, the multiple equally debilitating illnesses that also require a broad range of research for the good of the whole community not just the ones that have “celebrity” status.

Being in a position to be able to raise $10 Million in a year should free up Government expenditure for the less “trendy” illnesses that consume sufferers up with equal pain.   100,000 people suffer from Parkinson’s Disease alone.

It is almost as if they don’t need support and are quite capable of making it a business. Like the Heart Foundation with its “Tick of Approval”, pink Tim Tams have taken Health Promotion to a Whole New Level: I didn’t pick up the Pink Packet of Tim Tams, not realizing the marketing aspect of the product but I have noticed their brand in Target, promoting Breast Cancer.

Along with Pink Ribbons for Breast Cancer, there is a Silver for Ovarian, a Teal one for Ovarian Awareness and a Red Ribbon for Aids Awareness and of course, the Yellow one that promotes Awareness of all Cancers and I too have my Daffodil enameled broach.

The article again brought me back to the new business opportunities that has arisen out of major illnesses, along with the cynicism that while money is being raised hand over fist in the name of research, and treatment for the living, and to provide palliative care for the dying – no one is raising money specifically to target legislative change for choice and dignity in dying.

We are still promoting Choice without any Red Noses or Pink Ribbons – We just want a letter written to the local politician so that they are aware that when all the razza matazz is finished, all increments in the bidding for the dollar donation for whatever cause – people are still dying badly that need relief permanently from their pain.

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Watching Insight last night on SBS with the debate on Stem Cell Research I thought the young man who spoke last hit the nail on the head, together with his Dad – Living his pain was more important to the promotion of life, and the possibilities that science could offer him,  than the theology of religion.    Someone in the audience made the point to the Religious Spokespeople that if science arising out of stem cell research offends you – then don’t use it yourself!   Much as I say about a belief in choices for dying, those most affected by Government decisions are the people who most need to be heard.

Listening to the English Doctor who successfully got stem cell research up and running speaking about the history of the Catholic Church and embryos, and how timing of when life actually began as a human beings from a bunch of cells was a good point.  Also that failure by our Politicians to move out of the dark ages and into the reality of modern living means our scientists will be snapped up by those countries willing to move forward.

Fortunately for the rest of society it looks like the forward thinking politicians will win the day in Parliament and on a conscience vote stem cell research will ensure its safe passage.    As the man said – it we don’t try, we won’t know.

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In 2006 Australia must come of age and cease to be bound by religious belief on which very few people actually base their lives on.  This bring me to a small article in the Sunday Age Oct 8 World (10) Pope keeps limbo in limbo for now.   For the uninitiated, Limbo is the place where good people were held (according to Catholic “faith”) for ever.  Not having been baptized, they were considered unworthy to be “in the presence of God” so to speak!   A state of suspension! (as a child I was taught how to baptize a person in an emergency situation to prevent this happening to anyone….I baptize thee in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost – Amen! while pouring a small amount of water on their head…….)

No formal announcement is expected until 2007, but it is common knowledge in church circles that “limbo’s” days are numbered.  Like eating meat on a Friday was a Mortal Sin punishable by eternal damnation ( but not anymore!),

With the same decree that permits the Leader of the Catholic Church the authority to “wipe out” a “belief of faith” for 1960 years, and quietly remove it from the Official Catechism (page 203 refers the reader to limbo see “unbaptized,, fate of”.) why then can’t he permit Catholics to use birth control and any other means that would make their lives easier to endure hardships beyond what is considered reasonable by most informed societies.  

Namely,  allow Catholic Doctors to participate in assisting a grievously ill person to end their life with compassion and without guilt.    

Pope Benedict has been advised by the Catholic Church’s International Theological Commission to officially cancel limbo.    Perhaps Heaven and Hell can follow and people be permitted to live and die without the constant terror of retribution or the hope of eternal reward.   My friend with a foot in both camps, believes he may need a form of insurance to survive his faith, a man who once was to become a Priest but realised in time, his own fragility in being just an ordinary human being.