I went to a film this afternoon “Thank You for Smoking” about defending the indefensible.  In this case, the tobacco lobby aligned with the gun and alcohol lobbyists, working brilliantly for these legal,  but “unsavory causes” by a play on words.   Gifted orators who can deploy weasel words to deceive, in the name of a cause.    Nick based his philosophy in life on the premise that if you argue correctly, you are never wrong.  (reminded me of the day Margaret Tighe shushed a member of the audience mentioning religion in the same breath as Right to Life because they are meant to be non denominational as an organisation)  

Nick’s character proudly declared,  that a lobbyist requires a moral flexibility that is beyond most people. (no wonder I don’t stand a chance against the big boys!)   He must have gone to the same schools as the majority of our politicians because the professional lobbyist certainly get the perks of having their voices heard by them.   Both politician and professional lobbyist knew the same rules of engagement.  Both very skilled at avoiding words that plainly told the truth of the issue.   Like “should this issue be presented in Parliament I will give your concerns my consideration.” And, should VE be legalised many disabled people will be murdered under the guise of the slippery slope garbage as told to me on Flinders Street Station Forecourt by a slightly disabled man who when on to tell me he thought I was a “very kind lady in spite of my views”.  I just needed God to mind me!”

But at the very end when asked the hard questions in what proved to be a very funny satire, the “villain”  (Aaron Eckhart plays Nick Nayler) gave new meaning to our cause for legality of Living Wills.   He did have the courage to admit that it is about the right of the individual to make the choice about which path they take in life.  It was a film that promotes choice for the individual even acknowledging that right, regardless of whether it is injurious to health or not.

The film could just as easily been about the right to end our lives according to how we see fit regardless of the fact it may kill us.   People drink alcohol, eat fatty foods, smoke cigarettes, speed in their cars, take non medicinal drugs,  sky dive, climb mountains and generally endanger their lives every day, and of course, there is always a war to be won somewhere in the world.    What is so terrible about a medically assisted death for those who chose to end their lives in a more controlled environment?  Oh, and did I mention radiation from all our technological advancements, including microwaves, X Rays, mobile phones, remote controls etc etc?

Personally I’ve never smoked a cigarette nor did our relative we buried two months ago of lung cancer.  Cancer will now affect one in three people in Australia  -  not very good odds for the clogged up health system which has to cover everything else as well.  However, as with smoking being a legal activity with serious health repercussions for many,  so too, is dying by suicide!   One can still buy cigarettes and pay a whopping tax for the privilege but a person requiring the means to die by suicide must do so without legal access to the opportunities afforded most others who choose to live their lives in a dangerous manner.  Discrimination against the frail and elderly to the end.    A friend said to me the other day “he’d just walk under a car”.  I commented that I hoped the driver’s air bag would save the driver!   I also pointed out that he may well be too ill to “walk anywhere”.  We shouldn’t have to have these discussions!

I’m told the Palliative Care lobbyists are happiest when there is a debate on euthanasia because the Government rushes funds to them to stem the groundswell of those who believe a hastened death can have its advantages for themselves as individuals.   This issue, like smoking, drinking, shooting, living dangerously is something that Governments will have to address eventually.   

Although the film was very funny and most of its audience laughed many times, it nevertheless, gives rise to the argument that the individual can be held responsible for their  mature choices in life – so why not in dying?

Or are they? and am I?  I had an amazing phone call from a very close relative who admitted himself that he had been doing exactly what I’d done.  Not being entirely open with doctors and relatives!    For differing reasons of course…..he will live until 80 (he hopes) and wants to take me along with him.   On the other hand I have no such ambition.  I “smiled” as I read there is yet another religious institution created “The Missionaries of the Gospel of Life” (Texas)…that will call on priests and seminarians to take on political as well as religious roles from conducting voter registration drives and lobbying elected officials.   Just more of the same rhetoric.   Anti abortion and anti voluntary euthanasia groups are so wound up with fighting for these issues, they’ve failed so see the point entirely.  

Senator Edward Kennedy noted that the cost of the war in the Middle East has cost $US400 Billion (Aust524Bill) with 2579 killed, 19000 wounded.  Iraqi civilians DEATHS are estimated at 40,000!….(and lets not forget Lebanon & Israel, at about 10 to 1!) and yet we have whole groups of people who dedicate their Christians lives to fighting perhaps prevent a few thousand lives terminated because of sexual miscalculations, rapes or terminal or chronic illnesses. 

( Choice asks: Where are the Pro Life Religious Groups flying their flags at the Anti War Rallies?.  Why don’t they develop their lobbying skills to make their governments desist in promoting killing as opposed to dialogue and diplomacy?  They seem to have developed a fine art for it when it comes to abortion and voluntary euthanasia – so why not use it for saving so many more lives of people who actually do want to live if only the bombs would stop falling and America companies would stop making the bullets for them!)

I have taken my information from an article written in the Age (Opinion 17) dated Friday August 25 and although I promised myself I would be kind to my “ick” body I just cannot let the implication of the Church being so sanctimonious at one level about the value of a life without highlighting its hypocrisy.

Mr Bush, himself a committed Christian, head a Government which is responsible for the following results:

Last month, about 3500 Iraqis died, according to mortuary and hospital figures.  Iraq Body Count which monitors violet civilian deaths has calculated that from March last year to this March, 36 people on average, died each day.  In the first year of the invasion it was 20 per day.  A total of 789 American soldiers died in the March to March period, according to globalsecurity.org, or two deaths per day.

Is a life lost in a war any more precious than a fetus or dying person?   Or does it make all the difference about whether it is a Western Life?  and whether the color of the skin lost is brown or white?  What makes Pro Lifers work so hard against us in Australia who want choice and dignity in dying for the individuals against those who are killed against their will?    A fetus has no knowledge of the life it has ceased to achieve,  so that is not for discussion -  but a terminally or chronically ill person is entirely helpless in the shutting down of the more civilised methods of committing suicide.

Mr Bush when questioned about Iraq being involved in the “9/11″ informs us “the lesson of September 11 is take threats before they fully materialise”.  This is the 1 per cent doctrine, enunciated by VP Dick Cheney, which says if there is a 1% chance of something happening, treat it as a 100% certainty and respond accordingly. 

Has it not occurred to any one else that the 25 hectare American Embassy with its 5 metre thick perimeter walls is going to be another Israel within Iraq for the coming generations of Muslims?.  At a cost of $US600 million (A787 million).   While the Shiites and Sunni play politics and the conquer and divide takes on new meaning, quietly the American Government is settling in very nicely to become the Governing Body of a Puppet Government.   America wants that oil and if the Iraq  people can’t see they are being taken for “suckers” while they squabble as children among themselves then why do we need the pro lifers to convince the ordinary people that abortion and voluntary euthanasia are a viable alternative to the victims of wars.

(Age 22/08/06 News 3) And much closer to home, In suburban Frankston, Melbourne we have a 94 year old grandmother listed mistakenly as “not for resuscitation” against her family’s will.   WHAT ABOUT HER WILL?   Relatives do not live the life of a 94 year old who would most likely be so frail as to have little energy for actually living a life of value to herself.   Thank god the doctor used his intelligence when he assumed that the family understood that there was no benefit TO THE PATIENT to be resuscitated.   I do hope Dr Darsim Haji is not deterred in the future from putting the potential wellbeing of the patient before that of the inconsiderate relatives!

If relatives can create a drama at an inquest on the death of a 94 year old woman – what hope is there that limited resources for the health system can be channeled into more productive life choices like paying for medicines that can cure otherwise healthy people.

Liver, Kidney, Cancer possibilities, and Heart are Ok……I’m taking a break that’s all…

One positive aspect of yesterday’s concerns is that I find myself now being able to be honest with folks about things I’ve kept hidden.    I have no idea what my health issues are but listening to my body’s message and being able to verbalise it must improve my stress levels enormously.   I’m asked if I feel I am coming out of remission and I can only say, “I don’t think so.”   My body is kinder to me today – probably because after a rather traumatic start to the day yesterday, I was able to relax knowing that things would eventually fall into place for me.

I will take things easy for awhile and see how things eventuate.   I feel mentally calm now.   It just remains to be seen what develops with me.

My partner asks why do I talk about my death to him? and I can only say that it is a form of preparation that I’ve chosen for him to get used to the fact that I won’t always be here.    I also believe that this is the reason I’ve felt comfortable, these past days,  with telling family members of my impending investigations.  

When people say “don’t worry” you’ll be around a long time yet!…I can smile and agree because it makes them happy to believe that, but that little niggling thought in the brain acknowledges “yeah right!”…..   I can imagine that I am reacting exactly like the majority of people in my position could be expected to do.

One major disappointment for me recently if that I have to acknowledge that as a lobbyist I have been a failure.   I have achieved nothing but I am just not physically able to stress my body further with dwelling on this aspect of my life.   I tried hard to contribute to the debate and perhaps in my Parliament Step talks I’ve made a few people think outside their square.   But it was the politicians that had to listen in order to achieve change and this didn’t happen!…. The individual politician’s viewpoint is lost in the factions and ultimately the party machine.    I was idealistic and foolish and even perhaps arrogant to believe that anything I could do, would make the difference.

It is very humbling and confronting that know that the bureaucrats don’t see their citizens with human beings, with the needs of a dog, that is the ultimate demonstration of human compassion.    Ensuring the manner of dying is treated with kindness, above all else.

That “Respecting Patient Choices” are just words without any intent to abide them by legislating for them to be made legally binding.

Just hollow words, like platitudes – without purpose but -  to lull people into a false sense of security about the manner of their dying.

I have no faith in the system as it stands.    But who am I?  Who cares about the individual?  Just the individual, themselves.   Just the person facing their individual journey….. I am one such individual and I care about me!   And I care about other individuals with the same level of passion that made me start activism for choice in the first place.   I know other individual care about themselves and some even care for us!     If only one individual politician would share that passion….the right person in the right place that could make the difference!     But Who are You?

I’m becoming slack – for the second week in a row I will miss the stance on Parliament Steps – with my best intentions not being enough, no doubt the Right to Life Abortion Rally will think they’ve won the day, and “their prayers for me have worked” but it really is a case of the mind is willing, but the body is unable!I’ve been feeling poorly for a little time now - I have um’d and ah’d about doing something constructive about being totally honest with my doctor and I suppose the time has come.   I am fatalistic about what I may learn about myself – whether I have a viral infection, old age, cancer or a heart ailment.  

I’ve had some unfinished business which I have attended to, on a number of fronts,  so now feel free to move forward and investigate the practicalities of my personal rampant thoughts on what may or may not be wrong with me. 

Some may even understand my reluctance to start the formal process of investigations, and nothing that has come to light in the quest for choice has given me any reassurance, should my “troubles” not be fixed simply.

Being honest with myself,  my major concern is that I will be rendered incapable of helping myself should I delay being diagnosed formally with whatever is wrong with my body.    I really have no idea.  I know I have lied to others about how I actually feel, going through the motions of “I’m fine”, knowing perfectly well how I really feel.    Like many people who have previously been subjected to cancer a little imagination can be a dangerous tool for making unsubstantiated assumptions.

This week I had my “partner” sign to accept responsibility for my  “To Whom It May Concern” absolutely hating the thought that anyone would be making a decision about end of life choices on my behalf – having fought so hard to have my own Living Will be legalised.   My body, my choice! but who knows, it may yet be so.     

Whatever the problem,  it is not going away by itself!   I’m still being told how great I look health wise, so obviously my concerns are not reflected in my demeanor, or are people just being “polite”?  See, I knew this could make me paranoid!

Perhaps the doctor will be booked out to day!    Invariably there will be “tests” so I won’t end the day knowing more than I am imagining for myself this morning.   Life continues its journey……. and I suppose I am sharing this stuff now because it is what some may expect to see in a Diary entry for a website named yourchoiceindying.com

There is an excellent article written by Pamela Bone August 2005 which I have reproduced under Related Readings/Others.

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The article below quoted a contact point for Mira Al Hussein but the email I sent advising that I had used their material was returned as not delivered.   I may try again but whatever the reason, the sentiments expressed made complete sense to me and I have no qualms in citing the article. 

As I provided space previously on my website for the Israeli Prime Minister’s speech (Mr Ehud Olmert) I believe it only fair to do likewise for this young lady’s views.   It is political but the whole basis of the Right to Life campaign against allowing us to die with choice and dignity is the sanctity of life.    There is no sanctity in war (In Lebanon, Iraq, Palestine and elsewhere) and its sheer brutality of loss of infrastructure, misery caused and loss of life (was it nearly two thousand in Lebanon alone?)   And yet frail, and very sick people within the countries of the coalition of the willing are prevented from being “allowed a hastened death on compassionate grounds” while healthy men, women and children die in their thousands.     And our Government condones this appalling double standards which should in justice demonstrate equality.

Open Letter to Bush from an Arab Girl
8/14/2006 6:00:00 PM GMT

“Wealth is being able to afford your principle”

I am advised by the film maker that the anticipated documentary in which I participated, along with many others,  named Do Not Resuscitate is  to be screened on SBS in November, on the last two Thursdays at a time yet to be decided.  I’ve spoken a little more under “Media” which is where I will actually provide more details as I am able to.

A peculiar couple of days for me.   A lot of inward thinking and outward acting!  I don’t mean in terms of play acting – I meant decisions delayed became a reality and I’ve started another phase of my life.   The scales of hope, that there could be change of a meaningful nature, that I’d once thought of as genuine possibilities are now dropped from my psychic.   Although I will continue to campaign, I am doing so with a different understanding…A counselor would describe it as “the acceptance” period of my life.   The vital issue for me as an individual is that having accepted that politicians will not in fact do anything to help provide choice and dignity in dying where does that leave me to go as an individual with the same needs that propelled me into my activism some four years ago.  It is not easy for some one of my nature to stand still and chaff at the bit, because my initial need is still there.

Having put off visiting my old friend of many years in his “new” nursing home I ventured there Monday and very happy that I’d done so.   Although still paralysed, I was able to wheel him in the lounge bed he rests on all day out into the sunshine.   He is much happier now,  telling me the management are more flexible about most things and it certainly looked like it from observation with ladies and men sitting around in various stages of ageing with a variety of activities scheduled on the board for the day.  I was pleased to know that no further action was going to be undertaken with his skin cancers, and at 75 yo and five strokes I believe he should now be left in peace to enjoy his beloved Collingwood, and listening to 3 AW.   It warmed my heart to see him relaxed and “happy”….He just looked at me in silence with such a lovely big smile, I knew I had done the right thing in persevering in finding the place (St Judes, Narre Warren North) which I had mistakenly remembered as being at the end of Wellington Road instead of Heatherton Road.

I had every intention of standing on the steps of Parliament House this morning but realised in time that I was not in the correct frame of mind to meet with members of the public.   Fully dressed and armed with my placard driving to the station I just couldn’t continue.   I felt quite dejected and would not have been a good image for the cause.

So instead,  I spent walking two hours along the beach fronts – I felt a need to unwind.   I needed a massage to “uncramp” my shoulders, but couldn’t remember the lady’s name so drove to her rooms only to find the place locked up, so no joy there. 

To round off my day I decided to visit a very old friend after many years now aged 93, having been given to understand she was a resident of Kingston Aged Care.    The most important thing I learnt from this lady was the ability to forego a speech impediment and just concentrate on what I wanted to say!…..the organisation was known as ITC (International Training in Communication), and although she didn’t “remember” me as a person, as with most people, she remembered my voice!.   Quite deep -  and I have been called “Mr” Walsh on many occasion.   At 93 she is surely a grand old lady and had a photo on her wall taken when she was three and her brother, long deceased at 6.   Beautifully framed and clear photo of the children I was moved to say that today’s photographs won’t be around in 90 years time, in this throw out society.

Perhaps I’ll get to Parliament Steps tomorrow?

This email was written by me back in April 2006,  and sent off to a group of like minded individuals and in the course of cleaning out some 1000 emails, today I thought this one was worth revisiting.  

The definition of the word “dignity” reminded me of the Catholic gentleman, last Thursday who tried to insist on my understanding that there was dignity in suffering and by using the terminology  “Choice and Dignity in Dying” on my placard I was being disrespectful of those who suffered.   Not being the brightest student at school although I did achieve the very Highest Award for topping Religious Instructions (a Sacred Heart Picture which my mother treasured until her death) I genuinely cannot equate suffering with dignity.  I have “suffered” a little in my lifetime – yet never with dignity!……The indignity of being force fed after vomiting consistently into my food in hospital was as near as I came to being the opposite to dignified – I forced myself to swallow back food that every fibre of my being wanted me to eject! (sorry to be so graphic but I wondered what defines “dignity whilst suffering” to the average man in the street).  Do those who advocate “that suffering can be dignified” actually understand that genuine painful suffering is anything but dignified?   Suffering, at a certain level,  can make the very soul scream for release!.  To be dignified means that one is capable of “controlling their senses”….but for some of us, controlling is not possible because the pain is all encompassing!…  The dejected Catholic asked my name so that he could pray for me and of course, I told him to go ahead by all means if it made him feel better.    I’ve had a couple of them praying for me now!    If it makes a person feel good about themselves to try and “save my soul” from myself, who am I to object.    Do your own thing, is my philosophy!  Choice for the individual – in all things that hurt no other person. 

Interestingly my web builder has given me some stats which I know are in there somewhere but I don’t look myself. I have the most hits from America, then Australia, England and Europe. People stay usually 2 to 5 mins but sometimes an hour….My Diary and My Say are the most popular pages followed by Related Readings which include Children and Death, also Humor.

Mary Walsh
www.yourchoiceindying.com  

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Saturday (same day)  10 am: Just found this gem on “Your Say” and wanted to share it on record!

“The axis of violence, Judaism, Islam and Christianity have one thing in common.

None of them learn from experience – something most other animals are able to do. The Jews regards themselves as ’special children’ and therefore not subject to same rules as the rest of creation. They are unable to understand that everyone else feels pain and suffering just as they do. How long will it take for them to realise that they aren’t ‘children’ anymore, that it is time to become responsible adults on the world stage.

And the Muslims, who kill more other Muslims than the ‘enemy’, and they worship a god of mercy!!! The Imams are able to convince young people on the very threshold of life to blow themselves and other innocent people up to make a political point. Just imagine what Islam could achieve if it ever starts operating from a position of peace and mercy.

Then there are the Christians, represented by the US, UK and Australia. These people worship a god of ‘love’ and yet they have nuclear weapons, torture, money and hypocrisy in their arsenal of ‘acceptable’ weapons.

I have to say one positive thing though. At least the god of the Hebrew bible is honest – he is quite up front about being a god of war. May the God of All save humanity from the people of the Book. “